i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
