At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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