If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
