So drunk its hurt
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
