a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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