i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
