I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have aggressive nipples.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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