maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize