I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
