I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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