I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
