quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize