Best friends brother. Beat that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
