I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
