There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
