Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
