whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
