Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
