Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this boner is exhausting
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
