Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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