I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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