Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize