He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
