i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
