after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
