Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
