Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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