woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
