walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He kissed a someone with a penis
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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