I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
