I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
