What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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