I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
everyone is single if you try hard enough
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
