How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
