we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
