i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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