This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
