meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
