Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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