did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
