if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
