Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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