My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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