I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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