everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
