Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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