My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
