My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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