I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize