Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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