so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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