Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
