I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize