So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do vagina's smell?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
