Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
