Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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