their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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