Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
