So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
