remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize