his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
