Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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