What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
