when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
