How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize