I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
