he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
