yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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