i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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