remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize